Today on Wednesday, January 9th I went to a residents viewing. I treated this resident like my grandmother. I remember walking by the hallways, giving her extra treats and soda (she really loved soda). On the evenings, Mark and I would go visit her and it really made her day. I work at a nursing home so I can see the progression of a disease or old age take its toll on a person. I noticed little signs with Alma (the resident) and I made sure she was very comfortable. On Christmas Eve, Mark and I went to get her a Christmas tree, bows, ornaments, and a little crystal cube to put on a lighted base. I wanted to decorate her room a little bit and cheer her up. Well it did and she would tell everyone at the nursing home what I did for her, how much she loved me and appreciated me. I remember she use to tell me to save a seat at my graduation and wedding.

Well the last time I saw her she wasn't looking good. She was weak and the pneumonia she had got the best of her. I still made her as comfortable as possible, reassuring her to drink her fluids to get better so she can attend my graduation. I would always let her know that I love her. That was the last time I physically saw her. I went by to her room on the 4th and she wasn't there. Her room was clean and her bed was made. I thought she went to the hospital again. Then an hour later, I get the report that she passed that morning. In my department, we get the slip notifications the evening for the next morning.

Well I made sure all plans were clear so I can attend her viewing. Even Mark took some time off of work to visit Alma. I thought about leaving right after the viewing but out of respect, I stayed for the mass. I felt it was the right thing to do and out of respect and gratitude, I stayed. I felt a little uncomfortable at first and taking part of the mass ritual brought back so many memories of school and the discipline that would arise if I didn't kneel on time or sing loudly lol. Now I truly understand what a ritual really is all about. It's not about the order, it's about the belief. Being the natural rebel I am I always prided myself away from anything organized because it was just that. But even on a cloudy, drizzly day, Mr. Sun came and shone through the stained glass beaming on me. Again, I could feel his warmth. I love Mr. Sun.

Normally in situations like this, I would resort to anger of a loss. But instead I appreciate what was given to me. I feel that my higher power made circumstances the way it was so give me another chance to prove that I can be a better person and that I have learned. It's funny how these little things work out. I may not have been the kindest person in the past, but I am learning and seeing things more in perspective. I'm glad that I work in an environment that allows me to help those in need of help, that allows me to be kind and understanding to people without resorting to a form of repayment. Im glad I can have some time to spend with the residents and learn about their history, families, and what their life and troubles were like. It's very enjoyable and Im glad I have the opportunity to hear all these wonderful stories.